Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
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