Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
