i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
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