All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
