Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
