is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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