I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
