At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
