I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
