She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
