All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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