He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
