I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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