after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
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