Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
should my penis look like a turkey
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Randomize
