you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
