When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
