yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I lost the right to judge tonight
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Randomize
