I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Randomize
