# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
