I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
