From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
