That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
