My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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