do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
