I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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