Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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