she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Randomize
