operation have a gay friend backfired
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
