we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
