Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I can text with my tongue
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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