i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
