Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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