So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
