So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Pi�atas plus fireworks don't mix well
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
