ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
it wasn't lemon gatorade
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
