We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
They are going to name an STD after you.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
