whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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