me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
