So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
