I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
