you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
