I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Randomize
