im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Someone shattered a urinal.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
