pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
