hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
