a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
