Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Randomize
