I like to think it a success when the cops are called
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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