You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
