Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
