i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
